Too Distant June 18, 2008Posted by pilibustero in Personal.
Tags: dream, edge, goal, moda
i guess everyone get to feel the nuts in their heads and suddenly would create some sort of scenarios inside. that i am feeling now. i’ve got this solitary feeling, of loneliness and insecurity, suffice to say that i’m in los banos, a previously adapted comfort zone. the feeling of personal distrust and reservation of my decision to actually settle back here for good eats me by the day.
a confidant of mine told me to learn to adjust to my current setup. after all, she said, LB is above all, a perfect and conducive abode to live in. i said, i’m considering that, but until when? people here come and go, albeit, it’s within my short term plan to not to settle here longer, i am now simply not used to be with new faces and new adjustments. recently, i’ve been emotional with dealing with people.
on the other hand, i am enticed to pursue graduate schooling. the opportunity i have in my present job is enough way, given a sustained performance. at least for now, i am faithful to my long term dreams and aspirations, regardless of my unselfish persuasions. still i reserve the remaining moths of the year to reflect on my next move. indeed there are a lot of contradictions within and outside our person.
for now, i am feeling too distant with the world i have before. i exists in solitude with nature. i may not be fully enjoying the company of people i am with right now but knowing i am one with my self, and reliving my dreams in my head, that keeps me sturdy by the day.