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Spaces and Maturity August 11, 2008

Posted by pilibustero in Personal.
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it’s seldom for me these past months to have serious talks over coffee  on matters pertaining to anything under the sun, mainly life and career. bad for my ‘jologs’ company. but i was anticipating that moment, hence, i made myself available for an impromtu sidetrip to a gigantic mall by the bay to meet with budding confidants and definitely close friends.  i missed these times. having transferred back here in LB, i haven’t had any opportunity to expose my self to heartily talks or for any matter relating to life. hence, probably this blog, i don’t know. but really, i’m i was able to share in their worthy discourse.  

what is there to isolate yourself from anyone or depart from your past habituations and why? i called it spacing. in my case, i’m really unconscious of my actions pertaining to relationships. thus, i have a shallow concept of extended relationships. while i have invested so much in dealing with people, it came to me as fast as the shift of time, the adjustment to becoming alone in the course of facing the real world. the one which is beyond your control and outside your comforts. i conditioned my mind to be mindful of the tasks ahead. that way, i can actually move from a resolutely comfort zone to the dangers of the unknown.  

well, its been a year now since i made that unconscious personal accord. albeit cravings of reunion from the past, it has become a personal struggle for me to ignore the idea. and by the day, i’m quiet succesful. i’m enjoying my personal space. free from intereferences. personifies independence. this is some sort of liberation.

this refined friend mentioned of maturity. decisive actions such as moving on from your usual self and pose control of yourself is relative to maturity. i couldn’t agree more, except that that is just one part of the whole complicated process of developing wisdom. besides, it is personality-bounded and value laden. in my case, having much value on my childhood and peer relationships, i made it a point to relive ‘moments’. and having stayed back here in LB, is a step forward.

i cannot claim though that i’m mature enough. needless to say, i can only claim that i’m aware and conscious and logical enough to be of my current stances. this way, i gear myself to be subjected to more exciting experiences ahead of me. come what may they say. as for me, what ever come, i may have time to discern on them. for now, i remain in my adventure, in solitude.

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