Hopelessly, expectant August 16, 2008Posted by pilibustero in Personal.
i’ll be home tomorrow, that is a fact. though my plans are reserved for christmas holiday, i might as well advance some those plans. another fact is that, this longtime, ‘unheard of’ friend has been plying to and fro in my mind in recent weeks. i’m uncertain of the score, but this old personal fact says, i’m still into her. still what?
out of nowhere when i received a message of willful regards and sincere how’s and fines. for a while, i paused and seek deliverance from the aweful past i had. it was an unconscious reaction from me on a solitary message. in a nother minute, i was writing my reply and supposed regards. chills. soon after, we have been keeping in touch for most days of the week. but careful as i am, i can sense some disconnect in the communication. dry, it is. its all mere hi’s and bye’s and cares. inside me, im glad that somehow she is around. its but a relieving moment to refresh on some beautiful memories.
on the other hand, the pain and bitterness persist. there is no point actually in mentioning them, except that it is a root to my story. nevertheless, let it find its own way in the future. for now im excited. i am drawing moments and instances and coincidence. that somehow, somwhere, for any divine interventions that we’ll cross at each other path. or in passing, see each other. i prefer the latter. im no ready for any meetings. im still the unassuming and silent person since i lknew of these realities. preferring to wait for time to interfere on human actions. so pathetic indeed.
when i arrive tomorrow, i’ll try my luck. that if my schedule permits.