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Health Lapses, Paranoia and Stress December 4, 2008

Posted by pilibustero in Personal.
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Just a while ago, I found some abnormalities in bodily processes. Actually, an anxious symptom of some possible imminent sickness. I’ve been anticipating this to happen. I should know because I bore the uneasiness and erratic pain for sometime now. I just can’t believe this will manifest so soon. What the hell with this unfair time, why on Christmas. Maybe because joy like worry comes in no time. At one time you’re happy, too happy that at another moment, you’ll find yourself in deep anxiousness and self-rated stress brought by a variety of scenarios in your mind. I’m afraid of the stress that this would brought on me. But then, factors that lead to this is something that I should bear because after all, this is self induced. I’ve been to laxed with my body intakes. I’ve been to lapse with my health, given the consolation that moments spent in sprees and smokes are supposedly enjoyed at varied limits. Not to mention the not so balanced diet at sedentary lifestyle. This is indeed, a sign of times. I wish I was in the province and suit myself to some socially stagnant yet expectant lifestyle. At any rate, the realization being, I was killing my self actually.

Is this some sort of paranoia, the right side of my brains counters? Maybe or maybe not. But the feeling of anxiousness is all over me. This is a fact because I can feel it. I was wrong. I took the short but destructive road of socialization-oriented vices. I was unfair to the advices from home. I was let myself, and my body lured by pressure and curiosity. Now I should be ready to face the reality of suffering. There are a lot of uncertainties in my head. Hence this blog. I could have posted this, earliest hour tomorrow but the fear is killing me. This is stress for real. I’m hurtin. Many will be hurt by this irresponsible scenario.

Moderation is the magic word for now.

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