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Shadows fall behind February 3, 2009

Posted by pilibustero in Personal.
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In two months time, I’m gonna be a full-fledged uncle. I remained anxious with what happened to my sister. She’s too old to decide on her own and made a choice for her self. But I remained anxious of what lies beyond the seemingly unknown future for her. Its been three months now, and I in my solitude am always bothered by the day and night. I’m always reminded that I have to do something or initiate a move to patch up things surrounding some glitches in the family. I chide myself for this act of hesitation and uncertainy. I’m not used to this scenario. After all, I lived in the past 22 years with so much our aims together in harmony. But it seems that things now are coming short of the plan. Everything has been preempted. By the day, I’m trying to assimilate the optimism that is left in me. But the depression has partaken my sensibilities. I’d rather be numb. I’d rather keep this to myself. I’d rather keep it behind the shadows of  laughter and projection. This is too personal to share. I just let my soul and mind feast on this rant with the hope that this will pass through time. I should remain sane.

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